B Eastalogy

Archive for the ‘B Eastology’ Category

B.East Black&Whiteout issue has Claws

Volcano proves why east sides are cool

As Europe sits paralyzed by the Icelandic volcanic explosion, we’ll take this pause to reflect on how it confirms our theory about why the east sides of cities are cool.
In our ‘East Sides’ edition, B EAST editor Joel Alas explained that patterns of urban development in European cities have largely been shaped by the dominant eastward direction of winds across the continent.
It was first demonstrated by the Chernobyl disaster, which mostly affected the areas to the east of the meltdown.
Now, as newspapers print reams of infographics explaining the eastward drift of volcanic ash clouds, we can clearly observe in play the forces that shaped the urban geography of cities.
If you want a full explanation of how the winds made East Berlin, East London, East Prague and east sides everywhere more creatively vibrant than their western counterparts, you’ll have to track down a physical copy of the edition. Or wait a few weeks, until our whole archive is available online through our new website.

Camus ain’t got shit on Shava

– by Al Jackson

Doing the viral rounds here in London this month is the frankly brilliant official website of pro footballer Andrey Arshavin.

‘Shava’ has become a cult hero to those on Arsenal FC’s terraces, with his scampish energy, oft-protruding tongue and his superlative hairstyle – and now he is delighting us all with little nuggets of Russian-ness on arshavin.eu where in the “Ask Andrey” section he answers all of life’s big questions and some (ok, quite a lot) of the small one’s too, sent in by fans, in an inimitable, matter-of-fact though largely unhelpful manner.

Russian-ness and the Russian soul, of course, are crucial to understand if one wants to understand Russian art at all, but it’s is usually frustratingly elusive, according to art-history wonks anyway. So really, then, Shava is gifting us an all too rare opportunity to help understand his art (which, seemingly, is as much Surrealism as it is footy) and life as seen by a Russian genius, and we here at BEast encourage you to get enlightened.

TALKING OUT HIS ARSH — a collection of our favourites:

Andrey, what do you think people need pain for?
For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.

What color is your bath sponge?

What do you think about piercing?
I disapprove of it.

I would like to know whether you like cactuses (sic)?
They are prickly; I remember we had them in kindergarten. We also had some at home. I didn’t like them then and I don’t like them now.

Andrey, do you need apples? We’ve harvested a lot of them this year! My friends also have a lot of apples and they don’t take mine. But they are so tasty and sweet, especially “white juice”. It is a pity that they’ll go bad…
I love apples, but on the other hand, I think there are many other deserving people who will accept your apples.

Hi, Andrey, in what order would you place the following animals: a tiger, a cow, a pig, a horse, a sheep?
A pig – it will always get the last place! A tiger, a cow, a horse, a sheep. And I’ll repeat that a pig is always the last one, because it is a pig.

What do you think of ideological anarchism?
In order to give you an exhaustive explanation, I should thoroughly study this subject. So far I can’t say anything.

Hi Andrey! Please tell me, in your opinion, what is the most important thing for a footballer these days?
I think the most important thing is a head, not only for a footballer but for any person.

Hi, Andrey, I love arsenal and helicopters. My friend, Steve, said that he met you once and he said you were very nice but you smelt of coffee. Do you like coffee? He also said that he held your hand. If I met you please could I hold your hand, I promise it will be no longer than for 3 minutes.
AA: I don’t drink coffee at all.

How do you see yourself in 50 years?
78-year old man, with aching legs and a glamorous walking stick

Hello Andrey! You supported Nike and (RED) partner project, aimed at combating HIV / AIDS in Africa. In the video you took part in, you ate shoelaces for some reason! I want to know why you ate red shoelaces? You are not fed at home?
AA: At home I’m fed only with blue ones.

Hello Andrey, I’ve been playing football half a year now. All this time I played the field and now I begin to wonder maybe I should become a goalie. What would you recommend?
AA: To think about it.

Have you ever been to Stavropol?
AA: No

Hi, Andrey! Some people say that the rain comes when the angels cry; some people say that it is a natural process. What do you think? Do you like rain??
: No, I do not think that it’s angels’ tears. It’s simply a natural phenomenon.

Hi! I’m overweight. What shall I do?
AA: Lose weight