B EAST Magazine website

Eastern Europe’s still has so many negative connotations—golddiggers, corrupt cops, decaying infrastructure—that most hipsters, especially in the East, are wary of using it. Yet, in Europe’s annual schmalz fest, Eurovision, East Europe translates for victory, with countries from the East having won it for five years in a row from 2004-09. Their hegemony was broken by Norway last year, but only because their entry featured an Eastern European émigré. Their Eastern European Trojan Horse inside the Western European voting bloc grabbed them the top prizie.
Lithuania’s jazzy, sexy, boyz band, Inculto, are smart enough to play with the elephant in the Eurovision room, and turn it to their advantage. Their Eastern European Funk track for Eurovision is a clever blend of their trademark latin rhythms, beat-boxing, and Gogol Bordelloesque Balkan fest vibes. It’s an arty Eastern European sound, eerily reminiscent of the direction, Gogol Bordello are going in, by bringing Brazilian live acts into their performance. It’s like Balkan vibes and Latin rhythms were just crying out to be mixed, and Jurgis, the band’s charismatic frontman and a Beastie himself, had the vision to ‘Eurovision’ it. Their video is genius in a way, the hot striped-pant boys heating it up with a variety of Eastern European characters straight out of central casting: the aproned salesgirls, fat cops, jovial bald biznismen, jolly babushkas—and, for sure, a few hot babes in skintight threads blowing kisses at the audience. With Ukraine fielding a hot chansonesque blond (oh, so 1980s!) and Germany, a sexy yet homey R’B babe, Lithuania’s diffferent enough to stand out from the rest. And, yeah, they sure are feeding candy to that Eastern European voting bloc the West loves to fume about. Especially with their lyrics – Get up and dance to a Eastern European kindof funk …We’ve have it tough, but that’s OK, we like it rough . A vote for Inculto is a vote for Beast. So let’s just wear some ridiculous getups, fire up the barbecue, and drink some shots for Inculto on May 29th.

Text by Vijai
March 3, 2010

Berlin-based Khan of Finland never fails to hit the G-spot with his dirty, sweet tunes, that mix deep lets-all-love-each-other Chicago house with naughty electro beats. His new single Candy Love, for his forthcoming album plays with the idea of a polysexual sweetheart, a Joseph Fritzl swanning over Angela Merkel. A Lil Kim who tastes just like candy, blown back into the neon 80s, and serenaded by a vampyrish Khan. The creepy-sexy Candygirl video was produced by Italian artists Miro Mastropasqua and Onze. For downloading the track, check out

ITunes CandyGirl

Amazon Candygirl

For more tunes and Khansky vibes, click on Khan of Finland

Feb 17, 2010
By Vijai

Cookie-cutter versions of New York’s Sex & the City might be exciting fare for the Russians, but not for the geekier Belarussians, who go for more underground fare. Their choice is perfectly befitting a country that’s so frozen in Soviet time that it’s become a cult destination among a certain jetset. Why copy Desperate Housewives, The Office, Prison Break, when you can recreate HBO’s Big Bang Theory.

Most of you might not have heard about the series, but it’s a brilliant homage to geekdom, hitting so close to home it makes me twitchy. (I studied theoretical physics at Caltech for a year!) Already into its third season, Big Bang Theory ranks with Curb Your Enthusiasm and Breaking Bad as one of my favorite TV shows. Featuring four geeks, comic books, hardcore video games, one Jewish mother, one ditsy blond, and enough arcane science references to boggle a Bill Gates, watching the show feels like reading a comic version of Scientific American. You can gloat over their social ineptness and sexless lives, while feeling smart and brain-boosted at the same time. It’s a perfect antidote to a mindless night at Shooters picking up teenie boppers!

Scientists are sexy in America these days cos many of them go on to found multi-million dollar tech startups. In Belarussia, in contrast, they’ve always been sexy. During the Soviet era, scientists were the empire’s elite, powering its high-tech race against the United States. With Belarus a mini-replica of the Soviet Union—a statue of the KGB founder still graces one of its main squares—it’s no surprise that they chose Big Bang over Prison Break. (The latter would hit too close to home, given all the opposition leaders behind bars!)
Their version is called Theorists (lame!) and follows similar plot lines, with the geeks stumbling around wooing the blond waitress when not holed up in a Soviet flat playing video games, or doing time at the lab. Their names are the same, and there’s even an Indian character, Raj, as in the American series. However, the horny, Jewish scientist Howard is replaced by his older uncle. Ha! And, Natasha, like all good Belarussian babes, seems to prefer older men, bemoaning at one point why an older, richer scientist hasn’t noticed her. For that, we’ll take Minsk over Pasadena.